It all started slightly over three years ago when ‘M’ moved into the hostel, into my room. We were possibly the worst matched roommates in Boys Hostel D and our relationship developed as such. For the first few months that we knew each other, we hated each other’s guts. While in the hostel we were seldom in the room together, and at college we mostly kept out of each other’s way. Then a few months on, ‘G’ moved into the room with us, it changed the whole equation, from being arch rivals; we began to bond out of our common hatred of ‘G’. By the time our first year at college had ended, ‘M’ and I were pretty good friends. Then when college started again, I moved into and apartment with another friend and by that M’s parents had moved to Pune, so he was forced to stay at home. Despite that, we remained good friends and by the time college finished, m had become one of my closest friends.
I moved back to Delhi and he stayed on in Pune, neither of us is good at staying in touch so in spite of Orkut, Yahoo messenger and the good old telephone, we hardly talk.
Then earlier tonight he called.
M: “Oye saale Kartik how are you?”
Me: “M! kaisa hai?” (How are you?)
M: “Dude, this is going to be my last call for a long time.”
Me: “Why, what happened?”
M: “I’m off to OTA.”
Me: “You’re leaving? When?”
M: “Tonight.”
We spoke for about half an hour but the first ten second were enough to depress me. OTA for those of you who don’t know is the Officers Training Academy, one of the institutes that trains Officers for the Indian Army.
I knew he had always wanted to join the army and that he had been selected for the OTA but hearing that he was actually leaving shook me up a bit, thinking that in eleven months he’ll be sitting in a bunker on the border taking pot-shots at a Pakistani, who in turn will be after his blood. I know, there are literally thousands of Indians at this moment sitting in bunkers doing exactly the same thing but I don’t know any of them do I?
The first time I realised the futility of our current state of affairs was two years ago while on my way back to Delhi from Pune for my summer vacation. Travelling on the train with me was this guy about my age, with one of those black metal trunks that are so characteristic to army personnel. Trying to strike up a conversation, I asked him if his father was in the army;
“No”
“I only asked because you looked like you’re from an army family” (children of army personnel really do look different from us civvies)
“That’s because I am in the army”
Wtf? This guy was only a year or two older than me and he was already doing his bit for the country. We got to talking and got pretty friendly, that only made it worse for me because here was this great guy going up north, possibly to get killed.
Now, it’s the same, only much worse, much, much worse because it’s such a good friend of mine.
It’s a truly fucked up system that takes intelligent and productive men and women and puts a gun in their hands and sends them off to be killed for the petty whims of a few corrupt politicians who can’t manage to take a piss without getting it all over themselves, let alone manage a whole friggin country.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
I moved back to Delhi and he stayed on in Pune, neither of us is good at staying in touch so in spite of Orkut, Yahoo messenger and the good old telephone, we hardly talk.
Then earlier tonight he called.
M: “Oye saale Kartik how are you?”
Me: “M! kaisa hai?” (How are you?)
M: “Dude, this is going to be my last call for a long time.”
Me: “Why, what happened?”
M: “I’m off to OTA.”
Me: “You’re leaving? When?”
M: “Tonight.”
We spoke for about half an hour but the first ten second were enough to depress me. OTA for those of you who don’t know is the Officers Training Academy, one of the institutes that trains Officers for the Indian Army.
I knew he had always wanted to join the army and that he had been selected for the OTA but hearing that he was actually leaving shook me up a bit, thinking that in eleven months he’ll be sitting in a bunker on the border taking pot-shots at a Pakistani, who in turn will be after his blood. I know, there are literally thousands of Indians at this moment sitting in bunkers doing exactly the same thing but I don’t know any of them do I?
The first time I realised the futility of our current state of affairs was two years ago while on my way back to Delhi from Pune for my summer vacation. Travelling on the train with me was this guy about my age, with one of those black metal trunks that are so characteristic to army personnel. Trying to strike up a conversation, I asked him if his father was in the army;
“No”
“I only asked because you looked like you’re from an army family” (children of army personnel really do look different from us civvies)
“That’s because I am in the army”
Wtf? This guy was only a year or two older than me and he was already doing his bit for the country. We got to talking and got pretty friendly, that only made it worse for me because here was this great guy going up north, possibly to get killed.
Now, it’s the same, only much worse, much, much worse because it’s such a good friend of mine.
It’s a truly fucked up system that takes intelligent and productive men and women and puts a gun in their hands and sends them off to be killed for the petty whims of a few corrupt politicians who can’t manage to take a piss without getting it all over themselves, let alone manage a whole friggin country.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
5 comments:
Dude, I know how you feel. It really feels weird when someone you know and are close to stands on the border with a gun praying that a war doesn't break out. We always see the 'Army' and not the faces which make it up. Each one of them is one of US... from amoungst us !
Anyhow... don't beat yourself up about not 'doing anything for your country' yet. Your time will come. Different people contribute in different ways. If your intentions are right and you actually have the will to do something, you'll know it when its time to strike !
Call me crass or something but i just think somedays you are the bird and somedays you are the statue. and if people are intelligent enough to join army they are supossed to know the risk of life they are taking, and knowing that, its their life and they can damm well do anything with it, and not everyone who goes to army dies, do they?
Chill buddy
i think what kartik is suffrng frm is "shall i let the fkr die in my mind" guilt.. and nothinman is right in a way... people who go for the army usually dont go half assed.. and has its own merits.. eg. target pratice...etc the only thing tht really does suck in the army is pay...
ainz, that was my main problem, it was the first time i actually got to associate a face to our 'amar jawans'. Im not to worried about contributing, like you said , everyone can contribute in their own way.
Nothingman, yep, my friend knows the dangers associated and he has joined voluntarily but like i just said, now i have a face to associate with the people on the border and that disturbed me a bit.
lucifer, yeah the army has a lot of advantages thatcome with being in it, but the problem is that for someone like me for whom these merits don't really mean much, the only thing i associate with the army is the death. My friend on the other hand sees the honour in defending the country. As i see it honour aint gonna mean much when you are six feet under.
hey on the risk of getting killed you also get to kill people and you get paid for it!!!
well that puts a whole new prespective to the whole thing...ha ha
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