Just a random collection of questions that have been haunting me for quite some time, stuff I had to say, just I couldn't, not to anyone I know, so I put it up on the net (!), anywho, no poetry will result from all of this.
For Zee: It all remains as it always was, it’s just the conditions you laid down are too difficult for me to handle, I’ve tried, honestly I have but it just eats me up inside.
How long can you live disconnected from reality before everything around you comes crashing down on you? How disastrous would it be if everything you live is carefully constructed in your own head, how fucked up would it be if one of those flimsy playing cards that you stacked so carefully, so painstakingly into formation with about fifty million others, just one, slipped bringing the whole damned thing crashing down around you, leaving you stranded in the ruins of your pointless cardboard existence. How long and to what extent can you deny the obvious before reality screeching past, deafens you?
Just how much would you give up and ignore, just for the chance, for the remote possibility that what you want so badly may come to pass? To what extent would you suppress your ego, how much of your pride could you swallow for a fleeting moment of happiness.
Is standing in the face of obvious defeat the ultimate act of heroism or is it complete and utter stupidity.
I don’t think I’m ready to figure any of this out yet, but I guess that’s a good thing because if I had all the answers all ready and polished, I wouldn’t have seen and felt a lot of things, stuff I hope I will eventually be able to look back on without regret.
8 comments:
Baby u've answered your question more articulately than anyone ever could.
I set you free Kartik... cause for this one time (and know it will be the only one)...I love u more than I love myself.
PS:- If u do get this comment, know this:- it's for ur knowing n understanding only.
I've had a lot of questions about how people relate to reality in the last year myself... presumably not the same ones as you, or caused by the same situation. Mostly my questions boiled down to "what the fuck is going on?"... now I think I know what the fuck went on, or enough to know I don't want to know the rest.
Anyway some of your questions struck me as oddly parallel!
@Aunty The question was never about how I relate to reality, it was more about whether I could ignore it to achieve something meaningful, but then there's always the question on whether anything meaningful can rise while ignoring reality.
How much of a role does reality play, can you ever be comfortable with a complete rejection of the system?
I've made it seem like the questions were directed elsewhere, they were all aimed squarely at me.
True... we don't have the answers just yet, and I'm beginning to feel that we will never know. I guess what could comfort us at the end of the day is knowing that there are so many people like us out there searching, seeking and waiting... I'm in need of a lot of answers too!
let it all out - and cliched as it sounds - time is a healer
looks like someone still loves you a lot
@Terra, I can only hope that somewhere along the line, I'll get some answers, even if it's too late.
@Trauma, Like the Stones said "Time is on my side", I'm just not the most patient one. And yeah someone does, that's half the problem right there!
Dude, sometimes you got to hit back at life harder than it hits you. So, even if there is defeat its ok, and most of the times its not defeat...i dunno what I am saying...just don't give up in any case if someone loves you. Simple as that.
take care!
N
Thanks dude, relatively speaking there is no defeat only a crushing loss :D
Not giving up on anything yet not so soon.
cheers mate!
Post a Comment