A five year old fell into a well a few days ago, he was dug up after 40 hours of being trapped 60 feet under the ground. While he waited (surprisingly) calmly to be rescued, above the ground the normal predictable scene played itself out. Huge crowds of people gathered and the media circus descended on ground zero. ‘Protectors of Indian democracy’ and all round odd-jobs-men, the Indian army volunteered their services. So while they dug, the political fraternity, unable to ignore the windfall, gathered around. Our great leader the Honourable Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh offered his prayers for the kid. Right on Dr. Singh, always focussed on matters of national importance. Statements like this can only help assert your capability for independent thought, and that you are not merely a puppet in the hands of that evil Italian. I would have allowed such a comment from Dr. Kalam our president because through his tenure, he has (commendably) made it his business to worry about almost everything that happens in the country. From the Honourable Dr. Prime Minister, however it seems indicative of his impotence and utter inability to implement any significant policies.
We endured about 40 hours of worried newsreaders informing us that no significant progress had been made while they continually described the situation for ‘viewers who have just tuned in’. I find it much easier to be ‘just tuned viewer’ nowadays, earlier you had to wait till the end of the show when they summed up the news. But today you can simply glance at the news ticker for the latest headlines, if you desire stock market quotes, there another ticker under the news ticker just for you and if perchance your heart desires a water purifier, English coaching classes or any other of the numerous featured products and services, glance at the advert ticker, under the stock market ticker. We have many news channels today but sadly most of their news is far from news worthy. So we watch, resigned as they report, hash, rehash, analyse, dissect and confer with experts. They are committed in their pursuit of the truth so we study in detail the mole on the cheek of a widow grieving for her dead husband as the camera zooms intermittently into her face while grave-faced newsreaders agree that dying is not a good thing for a husband to do. We watch her children; sitting mute, uncomprehending and we find that we don’t care anymore. They are committed to getting the inside story so we hear out what vegetable vendors have to say about the Indo-US nuclear deal and we find that we agree, now that is democracy at its’ finest.Coming back to the politicians and kids in wells, shortly after the five-year-old ‘Prince’ was rescued, the Honourable Chief Minister of Haryana announced that he would be awarded 2 lakh (two hundred thousand) rupees as ‘compensation’. For what? For falling into a well? Get serious. Little does the Honourable Chief Minister realise, his attempts to gain a little political mileage out of the situation may give rise to a whole new profession, ‘compensation claiming’. With politicians falling over themselves to provide compensation, there are ample opportunities for the enterprising youth. Active compensation claiming includes the fine arts of well-diving, bridge-jumping and electrocution-by-hanging-off-high-tension-power-lines. Passive compensation claiming entails falsely identifying bodies preferably from the scene of a terrorist attack as those of relatives and claiming compensation. Colleges all over the country are preparing to offer degrees in the subject too.
We endured about 40 hours of worried newsreaders informing us that no significant progress had been made while they continually described the situation for ‘viewers who have just tuned in’. I find it much easier to be ‘just tuned viewer’ nowadays, earlier you had to wait till the end of the show when they summed up the news. But today you can simply glance at the news ticker for the latest headlines, if you desire stock market quotes, there another ticker under the news ticker just for you and if perchance your heart desires a water purifier, English coaching classes or any other of the numerous featured products and services, glance at the advert ticker, under the stock market ticker. We have many news channels today but sadly most of their news is far from news worthy. So we watch, resigned as they report, hash, rehash, analyse, dissect and confer with experts. They are committed in their pursuit of the truth so we study in detail the mole on the cheek of a widow grieving for her dead husband as the camera zooms intermittently into her face while grave-faced newsreaders agree that dying is not a good thing for a husband to do. We watch her children; sitting mute, uncomprehending and we find that we don’t care anymore. They are committed to getting the inside story so we hear out what vegetable vendors have to say about the Indo-US nuclear deal and we find that we agree, now that is democracy at its’ finest.Coming back to the politicians and kids in wells, shortly after the five-year-old ‘Prince’ was rescued, the Honourable Chief Minister of Haryana announced that he would be awarded 2 lakh (two hundred thousand) rupees as ‘compensation’. For what? For falling into a well? Get serious. Little does the Honourable Chief Minister realise, his attempts to gain a little political mileage out of the situation may give rise to a whole new profession, ‘compensation claiming’. With politicians falling over themselves to provide compensation, there are ample opportunities for the enterprising youth. Active compensation claiming includes the fine arts of well-diving, bridge-jumping and electrocution-by-hanging-off-high-tension-power-lines. Passive compensation claiming entails falsely identifying bodies preferably from the scene of a terrorist attack as those of relatives and claiming compensation. Colleges all over the country are preparing to offer degrees in the subject too.
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