Monday, March 12, 2007

Viral Memetic

In 1876, a young girl named Jenn was walking down a river, an insane man killed her by stabbing her in the back, raping her, and then hanging her in his closet. While he hanged her he said Bukakke Bukkake.
Now that you have read this message, she will find you and her dead body will haunt your house for 5 years. Every night you go to sleep she will appear in your closet, hanging their with her glowing red eyes.
repost 3 times to be saved
(Flicked off a comment to a youtube video.)

Unlike what the title of the post suggests, it won't require you to repost it on your own blog, identifying for the further propagation of the post.
In his book 'The Selfish Gene', Richard Dawkins, describes memes as any idea, capable of propagating itself, rather any idea is a meme, its ability to propagate is merely a measure of its fitness. The fittest memes are those capable of spreading without undergoing too much change. Just like the catchy tune that you hear someone humming and then feel compelled to hum, inspiring someone else to pick up the tune and so on ad infinitum.
Unfortunately not all memes are that simple, the most commonly circulating ones like the one above, actively promote their proliferation actively, either through threats or by promising you some crap or the other.
Some of the first chain E-mails I came across were in the days when I still used Hotmail, they were allegedly from Bill Gates no less, informing me that due tho the fact that Hotmail was running out of space, their staff were axing unused accounts. Only by forwarding that particular E-mail would I be able to save my account from the same fate. Apparently Hotmail was unable to detect account usage, unless that mail in particular was forwarded. The same thing happens, much to my irritation on Orkut and I've had to drop some rather nasty scraps to those responsible for forwarding those messages to me.
The possibilities for using this power of memes for commercial means has not been lost on people either, viral marketing, uses strong memes to spread the word and create 'buzz' around a particular product.
For the last few days I've been receiving E-mails from my friends, via a site, tagged.com. It invites me to join their social network, reminding me that if I ignore the mail, it may send the wrong message to my friends who have invited me. The line in their mail “Please respond or ****** may think you said no :(“ made me see visions of the friend sitting expectantly at the computer, waiting expectantly for E-mail confirmation that I had indeed joined and I was truly their friend.
I resisted joining for two reasons, the first being that their style of trying to entice me to join rubbed me the wrong way and secondly since I'm already on Orkut, why would I need another networking site on which to ignore my friends.
(Digression – Seriously, there are waay too many of these social networking sites around. I started out on Hi5 then switched to Orkut, in the middle I experimented with Shuzak (networking for geeks) and after that stubbornly refused the temptations of anything else like Zorpia and a whole host of other wierdly named sites. I can't understand WHY there have to be so many of them and why do people need to use so many of them at the same time?)
(Coming back now...) So after I got a bunch of mails from friends, begging, nay, pleading with me to join them at tagged.com. So I gave in and tried it out. Like the damned fool that I am, I allowed it to import my Gmail inbox and then like a jackass, while I was trying to uncheck the two-hundred odd addresses that the site threatened to send mails to, I accidentally hit enter. Bugger! Now a whole bunch of people including some very uptight senior professors (who I've never even met, but mailed at some time or the other) have been requested to sign up.
Now, I'm going to have to write a whole bunch of mails apologising to various people for it.
Now I realise it was entirely my fault, but I can't help feeling pissed with the site for having put me in the position in the first place. Orkut on the other hand, very unobtrusively invites you to invite a select few individuals to join you on Orkut.
And that's why I'm all worked up about memes at the moment, unlike the more interesting ones I come across from time to time, this shite is more like a virus spreading through inboxes, two hundred addresses at a time.
So heres my humble (hardly) request to every one out there;
“This is not like the ring, if you don't forward to a gazillion other people, you aren't going to die, fall on bad luck and conversely if you DO succumb, you are NOT going to get the cute chick around the corner, your acne won't clear up, you won't suddenly get cleverer. The only thing that's going to happen is that you are going to waste a few minutes of your time, multiply that by the time you waste of everyone you forward it to and all the people they forward it to and so on. Now think if all that time were utilized for something productive, maybe we could re-plant the rain-forests or something like that.

Now that you have read this post, comment on it or your your arse will catch fire and you will be unlucky in love.

If you post one comment, your biggest wish will come true
If you comment twice, your biggest wish will come true and you will become immensely rich. Unless that was your original, biggest wish, in that case, both your biggest and second biggest wish will come true.
If you comment thrice, I will reply.

Cheers!

11 comments:

Aparna said...

Hi Kartik...I am not posting a comment for any of my wishes to come true...but truly a well written piece. I remember a similar thing happened to me with "TAGGED"!

Maire said...

I was heretofore unaware that non-Irish people (aside from first and maybe second generation Irish immigrants) used the word 'shite'... I'm very proud of you!

Also boo to such an embarrassing networking gaff... you could always say nothing and if questioned suggest that some sort of email virus contacted everyone in your address book, and you have only just been made aware of it etc etc.

Confusion Say said...

See when I start to read stuff like that...I just stop reading it halfway thru...so if I don't know what is going to happen to me I can't feel threatened. So I'm still threat free...yay!!

D said...

Hi Kartik, I always like to test whether these stupid threats work or not by not doing what they ask me to. And that's only because I really believe they don't work at all!
And btw, I like your style of writing. Keep it up!

Kartik said...

Hmm.. looks like a few people are going to get real lucky!

@ Aparna, thanks for the kindness, you win one chai/coffee at dine n' sip

@ Aunty I think I picked that up from my extensive reading of the irish classics, namely anything by Spike Milligan. I'm a sucker for anything 'different' hence my extensive usage of shite, biatch etc.

@ Confusion, nooo way you dont get off that easily, it still holds, but since you did concede and comment your bum's not gonna burst into flames anytime soon.

@ Me (just for the record this isn't really ME as in Kartik, click on the link if you don't believe ME). Thanks for stopping by and for commenting. Yes yes that's the same excuse everyone makes :D

Kartik said...

Oh yeah... Bukakke Bukakke!

Terra Shield said...

I nearly spilt my coffee upon reading that your professors have been invited to join your network on tagged.com...

Great post... (I'm still laughing like an idiot :D)

Jawad Shuaib said...

Great post Kartik. I am actually the founder of Shuzak, the social network for geeks. I understand your concerns regarding "dime a dozen" social networks. The reason why Shuzak exists is to make social networking useful in terms of productivity by providing a platform for scientific and technological discussions.

This is, of course, also possible on Orkut and other networks. However, since we are intensely focused on geeks, we are much more suited for this objective. There are too many social networks doing the same old thing and they are ignoring the huge potential collaborative intelligence makes possible. We are trying to change that :)

Kartik said...

@ Terra, I'm still awaiting the full results of my indiscriminate networking. Glad to know someones enjoying it :D

@ Jawad, how on earth did you track me down, yep, I know who thou art, like I mentioned, I am a (not very active)member of Shuzak. Despite being a geek,(to paraphrase Adrian Mole), I'm an intellectual but at the same time I'm not very bright! Is shuzak meant for the likes of me?
I followed the link on you profile and read one of your articles on the whole social networking scene. Interesting. But has Shuzak developed like you anticipated, is it growing, is it living? Are geeks really only interested in being geeky? That was your initial premise while starting it right?

Jawad Shuaib said...

Thanks for the interest Kartik. Well, to tell you the truth, I am not that smart either. Hopefully, Shuzak could work to my own advantage as well :) You should stop by more often since we are there to learn not to show off our talents. Shuzak is growing at a nominally good rate. I am happy with how things are turning out. My favorite part of Shuzak has to be the strong community we have there; it keeps me motivated on building something people want :)

Unknown said...

Your blog has been as interesting as ever! It makes me feel like I am reading something that I have always wanted to read! Besides I always thought you din't really care about all 'the irritating kind of' memes..so why even bother up signing for them! Oh by the way, having said that I have no intentions of hurting Jawad shuaib! Nice piece of work:))