Monday, March 09, 2009

Just Because It So


Kartik will be out office starting on 10/3/09 till 12/3/09, I will respond to your E-mails when I return. Somebody please remind me to put up my out-of-office tomorrow and send out that Dear So-and-so, to that special someone.
I'm stressed beyond belief, I could probably do with a bad case of worms now, anything for an excuse to get out of office for a day.
I hate getting the feeling that I'm in over my head. I hate being ask detailed questions about issues that I have no clue about. I like knowing my studies inside out. When someone asks me a question, I should be able to respond with detailed examples, with two lines of code I should be able to pull up detailed reports, take a screenshot and fire off a mail with a "please find my response in red".
Today I had three meetings overlap and the only reason I didn't notice was that I had forgotten to add one to my calendar, it was only when I got the agenda and dial-in-details half an hour before the start that I realised I was going to have to miss it and then I had the painful job of writing to my Trial Stat explaining why I missed her meeting because I forgot all about it.
I'm listening to the new GnR album right now, Chinese Democracy, 20 years in the making and so absolutely mediocre it's painful to listen to.
Even worse, over the last few weeks, all I've done is sit at my desk, eat, smoke and sleep. Now, almost everyone I know has told me I've put on a bit of weight, I mean it's almost reached the point where random strangers stop me and comment on it. Are you crazy people? Do you have no idea what NOT to say to an anorexic? Even worse are the middle aged pot-bellied colleagues patting me on my stomach. Well I'll show them, if I don't eat for a week, I'll be back to my normal half-starved-crazed-glint-in-my-eye look that has served me so well in the past.
To positively top it off, I have these intermittent pains in my stomach and no they're not pangs of hunger, knowing my luck it's probably a 6 foot Ascaris, I tried to poison it with alcohol over the weekend, but having grown up in the broken home that's my stomach, the bastard was probably sexually abused by it's parent when it was still a innocent little egg and subsequently grew up to become a substance abusing, self-loathing little roundworm. Now in his late twenties (in Nematode-years of-course), he has a million or so illegitimate little baby lumbrocoides swarming around him fathered and mothered by him/her, attaching themselves to my intestinal wall, sucking whatever little nutrients I pass their way. My stomach has to be the ghetto of all guts everywhere, I can so imagine it, mugging, rape and armed robbery every-where. Food is hard to come by, but liquor is plentiful, the cops never come around, occasionally a nitroimidazole drops by decimating the populace.
I'm sure there are even a few genetically modified, fluorescent E. coli flagellating themselves around in my GI tract (I never washed my hands after lab). Oh the pain, oh the trauma, oh the beauty.
No I'm not drunk, just severely disturbed.

9 comments:

See Bee said...

Guess who's headbanging now :P

ah! To think long-distance one-way blog relationships can spread the germs & worms (so much for spreading the love!) Well who knows darling, it is probably a case of a sympathetic stomach :)

There is a study in neuro-linguistic programming called meta-narratives and you'd probably fit the type of specific vs general. 60% of the world are the general type making work-life hard for the specific ones. Don't get too upset over missing a meeting - happens to us all.

In reponse to your respoinse to my previous comment, I certainly did not get laid talking about politics. Come to think of it nothing I ever say gets me laid! Man I'm an old fogey of a geek with worms in the belly, drat!

Of course I want you - and I want you even more cos u dont want me, and cos putting on weight freaks you out as much as it freaks me out. Its bizarre to be skin and bones all your life and then see a fat deposit staring back at you- even if the fat deposit is popularly known as a 'curve'. Of course, I do not support eating disorders of any sort, so I disagree with you there.

Terra Shield said...

I never expected you to have an eating disorder, but seriously all those goons who dare make comments on other people's weight deserve to be pushed into the drain!

You know what, work does that to you. I exposed myself to mosquitos so that I could get dengue fever just to run away from work for a few days. Of course, it remained a plan as although the mosquitos bit me, I never got dengue. Look for something about your job that you love and hold on to that each time you feel miserable. In my case, it's the colleagues who make it a nice place to work in. That is until you find a greener pasture.

Keep well!

Maire said...

em... get some sleep and eat something, you know, healthy... if only to feed those worms properly.

And you know you can always call in sick without actually being sick you know. Have you never faked it before? Sounds like you need a duvet day/week, and some vitamins... and probably someone to pat your head.

R said...

Awww...and in the last post you were talking about the new camera and gifts for your family.

Take care.

Princess Fiona said...

this has probably got to be my fav post of urs up until now! dont know why..it just is...its well written...a big big comeback after ur "perl" disaster...sorry...I'm a snob like that...

anycase...your post made me laugh...good one!

Kartik said...

@Trauma, I'm not specific, I'm anal retentive, that's where all my problems start. If what you're saying isn't getting you laid, you probably ain't saying the right things, try this one "wanna hop into the sack?" It'll never work for a guy for obvious reasons, but if YOU try it out and get yourself a winner! Think of it like separating the wheat from the chaff.
So if I start hitting on you, you'll show me the door then? Eh? Typical.

@Terra, hehe, I don't literally starve myself, well not all the time, I just obsess about the weight I put on, it never gets in the way of my eating though.

@Aunty, I probably need a smack on the nut the most. :P

@Julia, aaah the twists of fate

@Principessa, thanks, (perl) your (perl) comments (perl) mean (perl) a lot (perl) to me (perl). Let er rip!

popsie said...

Stressed?! Meetings and calls not worth worrying about them, like Trauma Queen said it happens to all of us all the time.

Whats with all the bloggers around? Is it something in the air? Worms and de-worming started with Trauma Queen. Guess it's time I do so(get myself de-wormed) as well, have been procrastinating a lot! ;)

Pallav said...

bio freak! vodka is good for killing stomach worms. try it neat :D

N

indian lucifer said...

man stop whining like a 10 year old teeny-bopper and take it like a man:

A sledge hammer into stomach = probable cure

100000 points for awesomeness
another 10000 if smaller mofo's come out of the nose :P

yeah Axl blows.. shit album