I’m not talking about amusing virtues, in my opinion, morality and entertainment are mutually exclusive. This is true particularly in the case of Indian morals, which vehemently oppose anything that can be vaguely entertaining. Our self appointed moral police have crusaded against everything, miniskirts, porn magazines and PDAs (public displays of affection) are all in short supply as a consequence. Now they have turned their focus on to the hallowed institution of cable television. Their first attempts, put an end to late-night Russian porn, the cable TV operators quickly filled the void by airing badly made Indian porn on their private channels. There is no comparison, from Playboy to Malyali porn; we have come a long way. This we had courtesy of Sushma Swaraj, the dumb bitch, no wonder the BJP was thrown out on their asses. Now a few years later the I&B ministry has decided that Indians are once again sliding down the slopes of virtue, down to the levels of the corrupt west. It was imperative that they act fast and act they did. Early this year, they banned a number of ‘raunchy’ music videos and rapped MTV and channel V on the knuckles for airing them. I did not object much at the time because the whole remix-a-classic-and-get-a-chick-to-strip-for-the-video thing was getting out of control and they were in essence promoting sex not music. The fact that it was a ban however made me a bit queasy, I know how we go about banning things in India with an almost Islamic fervour, I knew what was going to come next.
Today they announced that all movie channels on cable would not be allowed to air movies with a U/A certificate before twelve at night, the only movies to be allowed on daytime TV will be U rated movies. If the channels want to air a U/A movie, it’ll have to be snipped and re-certified. We have already been deprived of adult content, now all that will be left to watch will be kiddie movies and castrated crap. All that will be left to watch will be Disney and Pixar movies (any conspiracy theorists interested by this?). For a little ‘A’ rated entertainment, I’m going to have to watch the News. They wouldn’t dare ban that.
There are so many arguments against censorship; the right to chose, freedom of expression, relativity of morals and the fact that India is the land of the fact of the Kama-fucking-Sutra. These arguments are sadly however too intellectual and ineffective against people who think not with their brains but their ‘’ Morus” (pl. Mora) the organ of morality.
The Morus has been found to be highly developed in Indian and Islamic people, it sits between the cerebral hemispheres, filtering out any immoral thoughts that may shuttle between them. It digests and thrives on them, growing through an individual’s life, competing with the brain for space. Apart from serving as the seat of human morality, it has been found to increase in men the tendency to rape and abuse women. Women with large Mora tend to be more judgmental and will unhesitatingly help their men abuse other women.
It has been found through painstaking scientific research that in the imperialist, capitalist western brain, the Morus is a vestigial organ like the appendix. Christian fundamentalism has been attributed to an infection that allows the Morus to grow and regain function.
Both Eastern and western fundamentalism though can now be cured! Thanks to a ground breaking procedure the ‘moraldectomy’. To avoid complications, it must be performed at birth and the child subsequently requires nurturing in a loving and free environment.
Get a moraldectomy today.
Today they announced that all movie channels on cable would not be allowed to air movies with a U/A certificate before twelve at night, the only movies to be allowed on daytime TV will be U rated movies. If the channels want to air a U/A movie, it’ll have to be snipped and re-certified. We have already been deprived of adult content, now all that will be left to watch will be kiddie movies and castrated crap. All that will be left to watch will be Disney and Pixar movies (any conspiracy theorists interested by this?). For a little ‘A’ rated entertainment, I’m going to have to watch the News. They wouldn’t dare ban that.
There are so many arguments against censorship; the right to chose, freedom of expression, relativity of morals and the fact that India is the land of the fact of the Kama-fucking-Sutra. These arguments are sadly however too intellectual and ineffective against people who think not with their brains but their ‘’ Morus” (pl. Mora) the organ of morality.
The Morus has been found to be highly developed in Indian and Islamic people, it sits between the cerebral hemispheres, filtering out any immoral thoughts that may shuttle between them. It digests and thrives on them, growing through an individual’s life, competing with the brain for space. Apart from serving as the seat of human morality, it has been found to increase in men the tendency to rape and abuse women. Women with large Mora tend to be more judgmental and will unhesitatingly help their men abuse other women.
It has been found through painstaking scientific research that in the imperialist, capitalist western brain, the Morus is a vestigial organ like the appendix. Christian fundamentalism has been attributed to an infection that allows the Morus to grow and regain function.
Both Eastern and western fundamentalism though can now be cured! Thanks to a ground breaking procedure the ‘moraldectomy’. To avoid complications, it must be performed at birth and the child subsequently requires nurturing in a loving and free environment.
Get a moraldectomy today.
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